She Saw

She Saw

A spoken word poem

Dedicated to all of the big sisters of little sisters

By Bird

I used to have the best eyebrows.

They were big and bushy.

The were uncontrollable.

They were crazy and lush.

And I was taught to hate them.

I had them waxed on my 13th birthday

A Bat Mitzvah side bonus

No different than getting my ears pierced or having a party.

She was 7.

And she saw.

My mother is beautiful.

She has bright blue eyes and a perfect complexion.

More importantly, she is kind and generous.

She has a beautiful soul.

And she cannot leave the house without

A painted face.

She hates to go places without makeup.

It makes her feel like she is not put together; uncomfortable.

She was a toddler.

And she saw.

The first time I shaved, my legs felt like Heaven.

They were smooth and everything was new.

First, it was just me and my mum.

Then Jenna joined the game.

And I always say I shave for me and no one else.

Yet, I still told a boy:

“We can’t hook up. I haven’t shaved in a week”.

I feel dirty if I don’t.

She was 8.

And she saw.

Every girl in my family has such thick hair.

Some is curly, some is wavy.

But it is so full of life and personality.

I love my hair today.

It is one of my favorite things about me.

And in middle school, I loathed it.

My friends would help me straighten it.

It took hours.

She was 6.

And she saw.

I go home and see her.

She is the most beautiful girl I know.

I tell her as often as I can.

She has that perfect middle school fashion, now.

And she is as beautiful now as she was when she was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12...

So why do I only tell her now?

Where was my motivation to tell her before?

What message am I giving her?

She is 13.

And she sees.

Her hair is curly and fun.

Her eyes are beautiful.

She is youthful and bright.

She is energetic and passionate and curious and creative.

And she used to try and wax her eyebrows with tape in the bathroom when she didn’t think anyone would find her.

She has been sneaking makeup to school since Kindergarten.

She didn’t wait to be taught to shave. She figured it out on her own...a few years ago.

She wants to straighten her hair everyday that she finds the time.

I am her big sister.

And I am only beginning to see.