I Need a Class

I never had a class on how to interact;

Never learned the protocol for when 

I am completely lost.

What do I say when my

Friends all talk about sex

And I am the only virgin in the room?

When is it ok

To start swearing in front

Of someone else's parents?

How far is too far

When teasing friends?

And then there's texting.

That would need an

Entirely OTHER course.

Why is adding a period

To the end of a sentence

So final?

What does that

Smiley face even mean?

Is that sarcastic?

If you were right next to me,

We wouldn't have this

Problem.

I don't REALLY know

What to do when

Someone starts crying.

I can't seem to laugh

At the right times,

For the right length.

I can never decide

When someone wants

A hug or a cuddle.

I can never

Convey that I

Always want it.

I can't seem to differentiate

The difference between 

Being Mom

and

Being a caring friend.

I can't tell if he likes me

Or

My vagina.

I can never decide

If he is

Gay or not.

I'm an awful good student.

I have A's in every class.

I think my life would be a lot

Better if someone

Taught me how to interact.